Clueless Ikea

Clueless Ikea, you say? How clueless can a smart company be? We’re just about to find out. Apparently, Ikea sent a (relatively civil and mild) Cease and Desist letter to Jules, the person who’s been running IKEAhackers for the past 8 years. As a result of this, Jules will have to either take away all the ads from her website, which she can’t do because the website is now her full-time job, or move it to a new domain name.

What should Ikea have done?

The easy thing to do: chill out, don’t make a fuss about nothing, ask her to take away ads to competing companies and add affiliate links to Ikea.com instead and give her a very generous cut on sales. Also, send free IKEA furniture her way to have fun with :)

The gutsier one: quietly buy out Jules’ website for a few million Euros, and then hire her to a six-digit salary so she can keep doing full-time what she obviously loves doing and is so good at. Update: Apparently, they have decided to wise up. Good.

Not quite so

In an otherwise pretty interesting post, I spot this…

If it’s cheaper to produce content than to buy advertising space…

Not quite so. Wait a second. The goal should not be merely “to produce content”, but rather to offer interesting perspectives and information that will make as many people become aware of your company, its products and services as you could do with advertising. Which is different. Merely “producing content” doesn’t quite cut it.

There is one question that matters and one question only: does it work?

We’re cool, and fresh, and hip

No, you’re not. You’re a bunch of clueless corporate morons.

The planning began in early March…

Please read on: apparently, it took two months to come up with a tweet that says that you should serve your cheese at room temperature. And the tweet was favourited twice!

Huge success.

And the best part of it all: they outsourced it!

They probably paid big bucks to some “agency” that employs teams of social-media and advertising experts, aka otherwise unemployed young kids. Experts in what, exactly? Do they know cheese better than those who work at President Cheese? Not to mention: would you really waste time and money on Twitter if you sold cheese? I wouldn’t.

Howl 2.0

I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by
tumblr, blogging hysterical naked,
dragging themselves through the 4chan threads at dawn
looking for some tranny dicks,
angelheaded hipsters burning for the facebook heavenly
connection to the starry dynamo in the machin
-ery of night

– Ryder Ripps, Howl 2.0