We’re cool, and fresh, and hip

No, you’re not. You’re a bunch of clueless corporate morons.

The planning began in early March…

Please read on: apparently, it took two months to come up with a tweet that says that you should serve your cheese at room temperature. And the tweet was favourited twice!

Huge success.

And the best part of it all: they outsourced it!

They probably paid big bucks to some “agency” that employs teams of social-media and advertising experts, aka otherwise unemployed young kids. Experts in what, exactly? Do they know cheese better than those who work at President Cheese? Not to mention: would you really waste time and money on Twitter if you sold cheese? I wouldn’t.

Howl 2.0

I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by
tumblr, blogging hysterical naked,
dragging themselves through the 4chan threads at dawn
looking for some tranny dicks,
angelheaded hipsters burning for the facebook heavenly
connection to the starry dynamo in the machin
-ery of night

– Ryder Ripps, Howl 2.0

Success

To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.

– Ralph Waldo Emerson

Omnicom-Publicis

I don’t get it. Are these people really so clueless to think they can compete on data with Google or Facebook? Google knows what you search, who you email (thanks to GMail), which sites you browse (thanks to Chrome) and where you are at all times (thanks to Android). On top of this, they own Doubleclick, which serves a significant share of the world’s banner ads. Do Omnicom or Publicis own something similar to Doubleclick? Not that I know. So, can anybody tell me what kind of “Big Data” (first paragraph, page 2) they are talking about? They buy campaigns from Google and then what? And then they think they can “analyse” the data better? Online ads don’t work. That’s why you need all that data and all that number-crunching power. Omnicom and Publicis have neither. Weren’t they supposed to be strong on strategy and ideas and creativity? Have they given up on all that? So now they want to beat Google at its game? Sounds like the perfect suicide to me.