Chapter 1 – Branding

Branding

A long, long time ago, I worked for the only dot-com in the world without a dot. Munich-based ciao|com did not have a dot because in German you say “ciao de” – and “ciao com”, without pronouncing the dot. Hence, let’s put in a “pipe instead of a dot in the logo. Brilliant idea.

On my second day on the job, the Ad Agency showed up to present the results from Ciao’s first extensive banner ad campaign. My boss told me that they were very unhappy with the results. The creativity was asking people to sign up, and yet very few people were doing so. I was curious and a bit worried: would I be smart enough to understand what had gone wrong and why?

Only a few minutes into the presentation, I found out that I needed not worry too much: they were trying to bullshit us. All I needed to do was to refuse to buy it. “Your campaign went very well on this website: the click-rate was 0.6%”. “On this website it was lower, but your message was shown to the right audience”. And when they had nothing good to show me at all, they said that it was “good for your branding”. That’s when I learned that stuff that doesn’t work… that’s “branding”.

 

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